Saturday, January 16, 2010
Resolutions...
On New Year's Day, the kids and I sat at the dinner table and discussed resolutions. They had to come up with one resolution for themselves, and I selected one for them. Bennett resolved to make more "disaster" kits...basically, kits that contain food and water in case a disaster strikes. He is such a Boy Scout. I helped him create a new resolution...to listen and do as Mom asks. Nora said that her resolution was to be nice to everyone. I helped her decide that she could only come downstairs ONE time a night after she had a story (she had been coming down up to four times, asking for hugs, kisses, water, you name it). Ella, well, she does not get the whole concept and just repeated whatever we were saying. My resolution was to NOT be on time for things. Laugh if you will, but for the past 16 days, I have not worried about being on time for church, swimming and gymnastics, coffees, Dr's appointments, or anything else. And guess what, the stress levels when we leave the house have diminished. I have always been the first person there, the first mom at swim practice, the first person to the party. And, usually, I sat waiting for others to show up, thinking of how anxious I was getting out the door, getting three kids ready, getting the bags packed and the snacks ready...only to sit and wait for everyone else. I am not doing it anymore...it feels great...just ask my kids. Oh, their resolution for me was for me to stop yelling so much. So far, Bennett is doing great on his resolution and so is Nora, but Mom (except for NOT being on time) is still yelling, but feeling very bad afterwards. If you have any suggestions for me to stop the yelling habit, feel free to chastise me and offer solutions. I need help.
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I love your resolution about being on time. My husband needs to make that one! He drives us all nutty trying to get out of the house on time. I'm more relaxed and it can be quite a bad mix. I try to respect his need to be places before or right on time - but, it's so hard!!!
Meniere's Disease has helped me not yell at my kids so much. If I yell it either hurts my ears or causes more ear pressure (due to the stress I put myself under when I'm yelling). But, I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone. So, I don't really have any advice. I think it also helps that I've been working out a ton - that helps keeps me in a more relaxed mood. But, really, a little yelling, IMO, isn't that harmful. I mean, I still yell some, just not as much as before and when I do, I just make sure I tell them I'm sorry and I love them. They'll remember that years to come. It's not like you're screaming back at them, "Well, you MADE me yell!" Don't be so hard on yourself! I mean, you guys made family resolutions! Seems like you've got a lot of great stuff going on in your family unit!
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